Take a minute to write an introduction that is short, sweet, and to the point.
I was subjected to sexual violence from the age 2 years (probably earlier but that is my first memory). I was subject to extreme physical violence, coercion and gaslighting by one person since I was 18 years old for about a 12 year period.
I have been gaslighted by many people throughout my life and this was able to occur because I didn’t really have any personal agency, as a result of the sustained excessive trauma I experienced.
This led to Complex - PTSD which I self medicated with drugs, alcohol, sex and other mind numbing behaviours.
To be honest these experiences did serve to trigger me even more because I was not in my personal power and a lack of personal agency meant I did not feel comfortable or as worthy as other people in these places. I wasn’t living in the window of tolerance and I was unable to regulate my emotions in a healthy way so I medicated myself through these experiences.
The most important work I ever did was to work with a forensic psychologist where I learned to regulate my emotions and begin living in the window of tolerance.
This is my life work, every experience of trauma and gaslighting leading me to this point.
My hyper capacity, hyper sensitivity and hyper awareness can be full on olive with, but they have become superpowers. I can see through people's words especially when their actions are not in alignment.
I can see someone isn’t okay even if they are pretending to be